Friday, July 18, 2008

To My Wife


(A Valentine's blog for my wife posted in Friendster, February 14, 2008)


Well folks, it's Vday once more!
Sad thing about this day is that it falls 1 day short of payday, meaning, most of us, by this time have little or no more budget for a valentine's day gift or date! Bummer!
Take my case for instance. I'm so poor-doy right now that I only got my wife "pichi-pichi" last night when I got home---I didn't even get the chance to tell her it's her valentine's present until this morning! In fairness, the "pichi-pichi" was real treat! But one thing's for certain, the situation surely sapped the life out of romance! The whole fiasco turned even worse when I found a box of chocolates and a card from my dear wife in my bag this morning! Darn! How do I top that one?!
No dough, so buying a present would be out of the question! Well since I've got of 45 minutes travel time to the office I might as well make good use of it and wrote a poem:


To My Wife by Carlos Macarayan (February 2008)


Each day with you I celebrate
Every moment I treasure
Your smile,
Your kiss,
Your warm embrace,
I keep them all in my heart.
Every once in while
I'll pick from these memories
and reminisce,
To give me comfort in my solitude,
And Hope in my despair,
You are my anchor.
When I close my eyesI see you

The warmth of your smile

Exorcising all my fears

Keeping me sane

In this insane world.

Alanis' Angst


Inspired by the song "Ironic" by Alanis Morisette...




Alanis' Angst by Carlos Macarayan (1996)

Tell me Alanis
The story of your life,
About the man who hurt you
bad...and
The guy that would make you
Glad...
Tell me about your days
With the salvation army
Singing your songs
to the deaf
Trying to tell them your story---what a shame
Now look whose ears are plugged.
It truly is ironic---
Life, I mean
The Pauper
Now a zillionaire
Basking in the glitter of the paparazzi
Smiling amidst naked feet.
Let is all out Alanis---
All your hidden anger
And the pain that so burdened
your heart
Salving it with melody
The song of your life.

Missing You All!

The year 2008 is truly very special. For the first time in 11 years the complete brood of Macarayans from Blk 25 Lot 20(LAGRO) got together for a reunion! First to arrive, last December 12, was my sister, Conila, from Australia and her family(with her husband Arnold and daughters, Ella and Inna. Then came my brother, Bong, with his wife Fe, and siblings: Nico, Reujen, and Issa. The reunion was a real raucous!
My sister comes for a visit every so often but it was the first trip back to the Pinas for my brother in 11 years and it was a real treat seeing him and the rest of his family again!
Ten grandchildren were in the house for the New Year and a couple of occasions after that---it was a blast!! They were such fun moments that last January 10, 6:16am, my youngest son, Justin Matthew, decided to see what the fuzz was all about!! Now, that’s 11 “apos” loitering our household!
It was fun seeing the children bond! Chesca and Nico seemed to be lost talking about girly stuff; Issa, Colleen, Carl and Tim were playing all day; Reujen and Ringo squared it off on the basketball court. I would have loved to join in on the basketball court and play with the Macarayans vs Lagro game but my bum knee, asthma, and bad back prevented me to…old age, I guess…
Naturally, it was almost always a feast at home during this time---with my mother cooking up a storm to feed the idiosyncratic appetites of the family. Lucky for me, the cacophony of gastronomic fiesta ruined my appetite and I only ate in between washing the dishes(in small quantities, mind you!). Needless to say I didn’t gain much weight during the holidays! Well, not that I needed to anyway! 230 lbs for my 5”11 frame is already too much says my doctor!
Anyway, my sister went back to Australia last January 12 and my brother last January 18. Now all that remained were the reverberating echoes of screaming children and the boisterous laughter of reminiscing adults!
It’s sad that my brother and his family can only stay for 18 days. Everyday passed by so fast. Such a short time to catch up on things. Well, if you’ll ask my mother she’ll surely get sentimental about it. I guess that’s normal for mothers. But that’s something most would misinterpret until such time that we find ourselves missing our children when they have their own families…nonetheless, I’m thankful to God for giving us this opportunity to see each other once more!
Missing you all…

PS
To my dear nephew Reugen, in playing basketball with dirty players: (1) don't get mad---get even...discreetly(specially on official games; (2) play smart and let the ref see what needs to be seen(get my drift?); (3) practice, practice, practice and practice---great players made it big not because of talent alone!; (4) don't run too fast---"MADAPA KA!"

Goodbye, Nanay!

My mother-in-law died early morning of November 10 after a year long bout with a liver disease. We buried her in her last November 17 in her hometown of Dingle, Iloilo.

Nanay lived a very colorful life. Colorful in the tele-novela sort of way---but let's not go there. She was a very caring woman who was specially protective of her grandchildren. With her "apos", saying "no" took a real effort!

Knowing the value of hard earned money, nanay was very stringent about unscrupulous spending. However, she was very generous with her grandchildren specially when it comes to their basic needs.

Nanay was well loved by many. This was mainly because of the countless people she came to help during her lifetime. She would always find it in her good heart to help when the situation calls for it.

The ailment saw her getting in and out of the hospital---being drained of her bodily fluid since only 40% of her liver was functional. I have witnessed the calvary that she went through. It pained me to see her lying in the hospital bed with all those tubes stuck into her and unable to move on her own. Everyone was affected by her sickness.

As the hospital bills piled on Nanay's life-long savings got depleted. We all struggled to keep up with the bills. It was a very stressful situation which sometimes led to friction amongst siblings. It was a good thing that Nanay has got a good investment of friends who chipped in financial support during such financial crisis.
Nanay knew how much I hate mushy situations and she continually badgered me during her funeral---trying to make me cry...well, she succeeded and I had to immediately skirt away from the crowd and cried myself silly in my own little spot. She must have been laughing in her grave seeing me like that! Anyway, it was a good cry which let out a lot of my angst.

Thank you Nanay for all the support you have given us. We will surely miss you

The Day We Met


The Day We Met by Carlos Macarayan(1996)

We met one summer day in March
In the revelry of the blazing yellow sky,
Wearing your Sunday dress in pastel ellegance,
Your hazel brown eyes dancing about
Squinting...
Gazing at the ethereal spendor
of the Monetian sun...
On cobblestone path
You strolled
In the pageantry of nature's beauty
As the sunflowers stood in ovation
While the cypresses
Swayed and danced
To the rhythm
of your every step...
You were a sight like no other
The envy of the Louve
The avatar of every artist's dream
The scent of you filling the air
Sending me in oblivion
A moment etched in the Parthenon
of my mind...

Sorry

I have ghostwritten for a lot of my friends during my seminary days and if I'm to count the number of girls I got to court through my pen---I can say that I have had a lot of girlfriends during those times. The thing is, what I write on paper I cannot say when face to face with the opposite sex. I guess my gift for writing is to compensate for my being "torpe".

Even after we've gone our separate ways some of my former classmates would call me to commission my writing skills. This one was for a friend who got into some sort of a misunderstanding with a girl he's courting. They got hitched after a year.

Sorry by Carlos Macarayan(1996)

The thought of having
hurt you---
Fills me with dread,
Like an arrow lost in flight
Listless and wrenched,
The pervading pain,
Breaking my heart in two
Which only
The salve of your forgiveness
Can heal---I'm sorry...

Revenge



I wrote this after watching the movie "House of the Spirits". Such cruel tragedy!


Revenge by Carlos Macarayan(1996)


The wrath of a vengeful heart
demands a reckoning,
Against the same blood that
spawned such sin,
Boiling with anger
The broken mind ravages and raves
Blinded by the fire that rages
From deep within...