Of Button-fly Jeans and Reverse Boxers

I’m a jeans guy. It’s only at work that I’m compelled to wear slacks; otherwise, it’s jeans for this dude.

For the longest time that I have worn jeans it has always been the one with zipper. Hmmm…zipper…when I was still a kid zippers has been a constant nightmare! As the old saying goes, “once is enough for a wise guy”---well, apparently, I’m not wise during my pre-circumcision years since I remember two instances where I got my wiener caught in my fly! Ouch! Moral of the story---wear briefs!

Anyway, I inherited a button-fly jean from my brother which I have begun wearing only recently. It has a nice fit and Levis-esque quality to it. However, it’s quite a hassle when taking a leak! Unlike zippers, where you just pull down, with button-fly you still need to unbuckle your belt and unbutton from the top down before you can relieve yourself. Now it’s going to be messy if you’re all set to go and you’re wrestling with the buttons!

And then there’s boxer short. To facilitate a faster draw, I don’t button the slit where my hose is going to go out. It’s a two step launch---unzip and draw. Simple, right? Now here’s the complication---dressing in the dark.

Since I wake up early (usually around 3am), I have to dress up with only a night light on (unless I want to wake up my wife and kids). Coupled by my poor eyesight things can get a little bit confusing sometimes…like figuring out the front from the back end! So there I was doing my usual routine getting that boxer and putting them on. Everything was normal until I felt this urge to take a leak at the middle of composing an important e-mail. Not wanting to lose my line of thought I decided to defer to answer nature’s calling and went on with my composition. I held on until I was ready to burst and ran to the loo! Remember that simple process I was talking about earlier? Well, I unzipped real fast but then I couldn’t seem to get the draw part done! Now where is that stupid opening?! My subconscious told me that it’s there so I kept on groping, groping, groping---until I just couldn’t hold it any longer and just yanked down the frigging boxer! Whew! What a relief! Curious as to what just happened I got my pants down to check the cause of the “malfunction”. Lo and behold there it was---I was wearing my boxer backside front! No wonder I couldn’t find the slit! Moral of the story: buy a flashlight!

Tim Tebow, #15, Florida Gators

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again---Tim Tebow is a MONSTER! He is the quarterback for the Florida Gators and he’s a mean, lean, fighting machine! He’s got brawn, the arm strength, and speed. He’s a scrambler who can hurt you on the ground and in the air. He was such an outstanding athlete that he was given the honor of being the Heinsman Trophy winner last 2007. The first college sophomore to do so!

And by the way…he’s WHITE!

Unlike any normal scrambling quarterbacks, Tebow is a power runner, who would barrel over the defense, lowers his shoulders and takes the hit. I have watched the highlight reels and man, can this guy take a hit!

The thing is he is exposing himself to being so banged up as a rusher he may not have much of a body left to play pro football. As a quarterback, his line may not be protecting him enough also. He has already been sacked 15 times after 7 games this season. The same number of times he was sacked the previous season.

Statistically, Tebow is prolific! During his Heisman winning season last 2007, he completed 66.9 percent of his passes for 3,286 yards, ran for 895 more and accounted for a whopping 55 touchdowns (32 passing, 23 rushing)---the first college football player to get more than 20 passing and rushing touchdowns in a season! The following year, he completed 64.6 percent of his passes for 2,746 yards, ran for 673 more and totaled 42 scores (30 passing, 12 rushing).

Florida’s “spread offense” was meant to confuse the defender with the dual threat of quarterback; however, the passing game is a two way street---a competent passing QB and wideouts that could make the catch.

Florida’s passing game was affected by the jump of their number one receiver, Percy Harvin, to the NFL. Now, Tebow is running the ball more than usual and passing the ball less. He has gone two games this season without a touchdown. Passing in the red zone has been a struggle. Their last two games were unconvincing. Their game against Arkansas was won by a late field goal and yesterday’s game against Mississippi State, where Tebow had no TD and was picked off twice at the end zone that were returned for touchdowns, was sealed by a Florida interception that was returned for a touchdown. No arguments though---a win is still a win irregardless of the situation and Florida remains unbeaten at 7-0.

There is no question about Tim Tebow’s athleticism or his heart. It’s just that no one can carry a football team all on his own---not unless he is actually Superman!

What were you thinking, Heff?!

I first heard about this from Mo Twister last Monday and I couldn't believe Playboy would degrade itself by featuring Marge Simpson as a Playmate! Yes, you got that right---the same Marge Simpson of the cartoon cult "The Simpson"! As in the mother of Bart, Liza, and Maggie! The wife of friggin' Homer! OMG!

Man, this is sacrilegious!

George "Jojie" Tecson, 1969-2009

I’m wrote this blog at the wake of my cousin’s husband, Jojie, who passed away last October 4 after a 5 month battle with colon cancer. It was a losing battle for Jojie given that colon cancer doesn’t get diagnosed until it’s already too late. He was 40 years old.

With his days already numbered he decided to spend the last remaining days of his life with his family and came back a couple of weeks ago from the US where he has stayed since 1994.

It was ironic that he was the one who dropped by our home one day for a visit (with him all sick and all). But upon seeing him that day, he didn’t look sick at all. In fact, he was all jovial and perky. Actually I can’t say that I knew him personally but his demeanor that day was so contagious I was under the notion that we were “magkababata”. It was a short visit as they were on their way to the hospital for a check up but I do believe Jojie and I could have hit it off given the chance. I guess some things I can only speculate on given the circumstances. “Sayang,” I can only say.

Jojie had no vices and from all the accounts I’ve heard he was an over-all good guy. Funny how life can be ironic. Some guys guzzle alcohol like it was water, smoke like a chimney, live on fat and cholesterol-high diet and then live up to a hundred! So what seems to be the deal here? No, I won’t go into a diatribe about God’s will---not in my place in the scheme of things to do so. So what is there to learn here?

Well, our lives are governed by the choices we make. We will definitely make mistakes and we will regret some choices. Jojie made had his number of mistakes and may have regretted some of his choices but he was at peace with them. He stared death in the face and embraced his fate.

We will all have to face death in our own time. How we’re going to go is our own choice.

Find peace Jojie. You are now in the care of God.